Forgive a Bully?

We, as overweight children, have most likely had someone bully us at some point.  However messed up it is, I consider myself lucky that other than one guy who strove to make my life hell, only a handful of people had the guts to say something about my weight. 

In middle school there was one boy, who made it his mission to make me feel badly about myself.  To be perfectly honest...  it didn't really have that much more of an affect than anyone else picking on me... until one day, that is.  He sat behind me in a class, and took it upon himself to write, in marker, "I love food" on my shirt.  A friend of mine told me it was there, and I remember walking down the hall to the principal's office praying and wishing nobody would see me, and see it.  I don't remember what I did the rest of the day about the shirt... maybe I put a jacket on...but I remember the humiliation I felt like it was yesterday.  So while I forgave him, the memory of the pain it caused lingers.

 I had found a friend from high school on fb.  Turns out she got married to the bully.  I considered unfriending her when I found out, but realized she was never a bully and always accepted me, rolls of fat and all.  Maybe a week later, in my inbox, was a message from the bully himself, with a sincere apology for how he treated me.  It really was heartfelt, and I told him it was a long time ago, and people change.  I also told him that I am not the same person I was, and I would not want to be judged based on the person I was 20 years ago.  And my forgiveness was sincere.  I am not one to keep someone from moving on in thier own lives, so I gave him absolution, but his apology brought back painful memories.  While I forgave him, the memory of the pain it caused lingered.

The current events on fb have me thinking about bullies, and being bullied.  Is bullying forgivable?  And do the scars of being bullied ever go away?  For me, bullying is forgivable...  I did forgive my bully, completely and legitimatley.  The scars of being bullied?  I am not sure, but I think that when someone is surrounded by more love than hate, more support than put-downs, and more strength than weakness, the scars and affects of being bullied fade.  Everytime someone builds you up, the scar becomes less.  Once you get to the place where you understand that your self-worth and value as a person comes from your person...you let go of what other people have told you to feel about yourself.  If you want to forgive someone that hurt you, find something unique and amazing about youself, and keep finding things.  Never stop finding excuses to love yourself, and NOBODY will ever make you feel disrespected again because you will have enough respect for you, for the entire world.